Love Your Ordinariness

I want you to know that I love your ordinariness, because I, too, am ordinary. The truth is, we are all ordinary.

No matter how famous or beautiful one is, no matter how much money or power one has, no matter how many wonderful accomplishments one has had, we all have our share of setbacks, heartbreak, and loss. We have to face challenges we have no control over. Loneliness and the fear of death will accompany us to our final days.   Everyone is on the same treacherous journey of life’s tainted glory.

Without love, our lives would pass us by in the blink of an eye. Love has the power to stop the world for a moment. Love makes the world look beautiful. When there is love, there is beauty.

When love is drying up in your life, look for the beauty around you. That is where love can be found. You are beautiful not because you are better than others but because there is only you who can smile like that. May you fall in love with your unique self.

One summer night, I look up and focus on one star out of many. That star also chooses to look at me, out of all the people on earth. A meeting between two people is like this, a rare cosmic event. It is one in a million, a billion, a trillion.

Love is trusting someone, being there for someone, being ready to listen with a tender heart for no other reason than love.

At times we are not sure whether what we feel is love. At that moment, ask yourself this: “Am I happy to give more even after having given a lot?” If the answer is yes, and there is no regret afterward, then that is probably love.

Love means loving someone the way he or she is. Wanting him or her to be a certain way is not love but your desire. Do not attempt to improve someone in the name of love. It is an improvement only in your eyes, not in his or her.

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Also Read: Ten Essential Steps for Personal Transformation with Yoga

If something is meant to blossom into a   relationship, it usually works out without much difficulty. If you are the only one putting in the effort, then let her or him go. This may relieve the pressure, and motivate him or her to make an effort. If not, then it will open up a new path for you.

Love comes naturally and effortlessly. If you try to love someone, then it is not real until you stop trying.

A casting director auditions many actors but recognizes the right one as soon as he or she walks in. It can be the same with a new house, a diamond ring, a   future spouse. If you are hesitant, then you might not have found the right one yet.

Love him or her without “What if,” without calculation, without second-guessing, without comparing him or her to others.

Love her or him with the steadfast conviction of your soul. If one of you is unshakable, then the relationship can last. Please don’t call it love. What you are experiencing is an infatuation with no commitment or responsibility.

Infatuation is not love because it begins and ends with you. It is more about your feelings, and less about the other person.

When we are in love, we like to do nice things for the one we love. But it is equally important to refrain from doing unnecessary things. We often overlook that part.

We like to get involved in other people’s business, thinking we are doing so for them. We offer unsolicited help and interfere with their lives. We take away their power and make them feel incapable. This stems from our desire for control and recognition. It has little to do with love.

We should love people like the sun loves the earth. The sun loves the earth without choosing to. It nourishes trees and flowers, expecting nothing in return. It does not withhold its rays but brightens everything with its presence.

As Kahlil Gibran said, love each other like two pillars supporting the same roof. While looking out on the horizon together, allow space between you and your loved one. Without it, you will suffocate and exhaust your love.

Remember this: When you struggle to hold on to him or her, he or she leaves. When you decide to let him or her go, he or she stays.

We do things for the one we love, but sometimes just being there expresses even deeper love. Give the gift of your full presence.

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Also Read: Happiness: How to Get into The Habit of Being Happy?